Snowboarding and Suicide Series: Introduction

This is a series about learning how to survive, exist, and find a way to actually LIVE without feeling as though it is a burden. I am no expert at this, just trying to figure it all out like the rest of us. I want this series to be helpful, familiar, relatable and comforting to people who are trying to find out what the fuck is going on in their mind.

Snowboarding and Suicide will explore the dirty details and raw truths behind suicide, mental illness, and survival – with no sugar coating. Like the different kinds of depression and how to recognize them, and the fucked up things you deal with after a failed suicide attempt.

S&S will also (not surprisingly) be about SNOWBOARDING and why that is what sparked the creation of a blog at all. My goal isn’t to become the female Red Gerard, just to use something I already know and enjoy as a sort of anchor to attach all other aspects of your life. I will explain how finding YOUR “snowboarding” can help you improve your happiness, happiness, finances, discipline, you name it. More on this later**

After surviving a suicide attempt – you need to relearn how to live and what to do with the life you thought was over. This is not an easy thing. I hope to use my fucked up story to better understand how we can all try to be a little better each day and if we can’t, at least we know we aren’t alone. I’d love feedback and sharing of your own stories or advice on the subject.


Night Sweats – Antidepressants

If this happens to be one of my first few posts, I apologize. But shit’s getting real. So, y’all, LEXAPRO. I have taken every anxiety medication under the sun, but not so much antidepressants. A recent failed (more later) suicide attempt led me to this medication. While I’m lucky to not have most side effects… the night cold sweats are real. My insomnia is already as fucking real as it is almost a funny joke. The constant changing throughout the night sure is NOT making it better. Of course I have done my fair share of google searches but I need to prepare myself if this is a forever thing but

It is a bittersweet thing. I feel like my mind is getting right but my body is just shitting on my goddamn dreams to be happy.

Anyone relate? Know how to make it stop?