Love Is Not Always Convenient

See ThoughtCatalog Article Here
By Leena Sanders

I think we have this huge misconception about what love is what love is not. Current day we are so determined for everything in our lives to look and feel so perfect, so molded, and so edited that the second something feels bad a lot of us first think about just leaving whatever doesn’t feel great. We’d rather swim on our own than ride the waves to mellow water. Don’t get me wrong, some relationships are destined to end and it’s a beautiful thing that they do. However, when the amount of effort and dedication is the problem rather than the people and their habits + who they are, that’s where love gets lost.

The truth is, love is not always convenient.

Love is not always steamy sex and beautiful handwritten letters.

Love does not always sound appealing, you do not always crave it.

Love does not always feel like date nights and cloud nine.

Love is not always planning your future and falling in love with the same vision of it.

Love is not always convenient.

Love is asking how your person’s day was when you are exhausted.

Love is feeling mentally drained but still showing appreciation for the fact that your socks have been folded and there is a love note on the mirror for you.

Love is seeing the bigger picture, it’s being willing to ride the waves because you see the bigger picture.

Love is selfless, it communicates, and it even communicates when the words that are being spoken don’t feel so good.

Love does not always happen in the moments that you want it to, sometimes the timing of love accompanies the timing of grief in ways that are unimaginable.

Love is not always a steady pace at sea but love rides waves to shore.

I think we need to remember that love has more to do with our own commitment to unconditional appreciation and gratitude and less to do with temporary moments that we don’t feel full.

Love is about learning your own personal map to fulfillment while still crediting and honoring your experience with another.

Love is knowing it’s not convenient and still daring to show up anyway.

ThoughtCatalog: Put More Effort Into Your Forever Person.

ThoughtCatalog’s Holly Riordan wrote a great piece on something that I know at least I need to be more aware of. The article is about “putting more effort into your forever person” & it is really amazing.

I know that I need to put more effort into my boyfriends and my relationship. He is constantly supportive, sweet, and understanding. He never makes me feel like I am being taken for granted, and treats me like a queen. I definitely need to reciprocate this more often. I knew that I needed to be more kind and caring towards him but this article really helped put things into perspective- check it out!!

Put more effort into your relationship. Do not let your person tumble down your priority list after spending a few years — or even months —  together. It’s easy to take the right person for granted. It’s easy to become overly comfortable. It’s easy to forget how lucky you are.

When you chase after the wrong person, you are forced to do the work. You are forced to send the first text. You are forced to plan dates. You are forced to make an effort. Otherwise, they would walk away without a second thought. Otherwise, you would lose them.

When you are with the right person, you don’t have to go the extra mile in order to convince them to stay because they are not going anywhere. But you should go the extra mile anyway because you want to make them happy, you want to give them even more than they believe they deserve.

Put more effort into your forever person. Do not let yourself slip. Do not become a different person than the one they fell for in the first place.

The flirting should not end when you get into an official relationship. The playful banter and kisses on the forehead should be ongoing. Turning someone into your boyfriend/girlfriend does not mean the hard work is over. It is only beginning.

You cannot stop trying once you have snagged someone. Just because they are yours today does not mean they will be yours tomorrow. If you stop treating them as a priority, they might gather their belongings and leave. 

Even if your person loves you too much to leave, even if your person never voices any complaints about how you have slowly been neglecting them, you should still treat them right. You should be aware of your own actions. You should step back and ask yourself whether you have been doing your best as a partner.

If you have not, you should take the initiative to change, even if your person has not whined about it yet. Just because they are letting you get away with something does not mean you should be getting away with something. It does not mean you should continue to slack.

Relationships are complex. They are messy. They are complicated. But when you are with the right person, staying together is fairly simple: You need to put effort into the relationship. You need to care. 

You put in the effort to chase this person. You should be willing to put in the effort to keep this person. 

You should not take your person for granted. You should not forget how much they do for you on a daily basis. You should not underplay how happy they make you.

Put more effort into your forever person. They are the love of your life. They deserve to see the best sides of you. The deserve to be spoiled with affection. They deserve to look at you and know your feelings haven’t changed at all. If anything, they have only grown deeper.