A Reminder To Always Take Care Of Yourself

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No one can argue the importance of self-care. It is everywhere-from Facebook memes to Buzzfeed shopping lists to TV shows chanting “treat yaself.” And, it IS important. Without self-care, we will undoubtedly crash, burn out, or just merely exist. But Self-care is more than wine, pizza, and shopping (even though those are crucial too!), and, to be helpful, it has to be more than that.

Self-care is of course, at the most basic level, treating yourself. Allowing yourself to have that spa day. Freeing yourself to eat a bowl of ice cream or a whole pizza, or drink a bottle of wine. It’s letting yourself splurge and buy that pair of shoes, or that book you’ve been wanting to immerse yourself in, or that blanket you’ve been dreaming of cuddling up in and forgetting the world.

But, it goes deeper than that. self-care is allowing yourself to use those vacation days at work to take a break, even if it’s just to lay in bed and binge a new show. It is allowing yourself to cancel plans or obligations that you are not feeling so that you can instead do something that you are feeling. It is knowing that just because you received an invite doesn’t mean you have to say yes. self-care is freeing up the time and money needed to let yourself invest in your hobbies and passions.

And speaking of hobbies, self-care is doing what you love and giving a damn about what other people think. Too often we give up on what makes us happy because we lack the support of the people around us or the confidence to pursue it regardless of anyone’s thoughts. If knitting makes you happy, knit. If makeup makes you happy, learn as much as you can and be a badass at it. If dancing and concerts and clubs make you happy, then go out and dance until the early morning. Or, if you’re like me, and love your alone time and TV binge-watching, then let yourself do it, even when people say it is a lame, boring way to spend your time. Do what makes you happy and recharge your batteries and allow yourself to find happiness in life as often as you can.

Self-care is exploring the world and things around you. There is so much out there, and you’ll be surprised at what you were missing out on all this time. Try that new cuisine, go on that trip, read/watch a new genre of book/movie. Wake up and watch the sunrise over the ocean at the beach. Or stay up late in a field to watch the shooting stars and dancing fireflies. Or go for a walk in the woods and listen to the wind in the trees and the birds singing their lullabies.

Self-care is letting go of toxic people. It is one of the most important parts of self-care. Too often we keep people in our lives out of obligation or simply because we are scared to be alone. Loyalty is a trait that should be earned, not simply given out all willy-nilly. Friends, family, or partners-it doesn’t matter. If they are toxic or bitter or unsupportive or rude or emotionally draining…or anything else that brings bad energy into your life…let them go! The very essence of self-care is putting yourself first. Making sure that you are taking control of your life and making sure that you are allowing yourself to be happy and successful. And sometimes that means letting people go, no matter who they are or how long they have been around.

And piggybacking on that, self-care is not allowing yourself to settle for less. It is demanding what you need and taking what you want. Self-care is not letting second best be what you accept in any part of life. It’s not taking a backseat in your own life. Self-care is realizing when you are someone’s “maybe” or backup plan and making yourself move on to find someone who makes you their number one, who chooses you first. Self-care is knowing what will make you happy and not being afraid to ask for it.

Self-care is realizing your dreams and pursuing them. It doesn’t matter how crazy or big they are. It doesn’t matter what other people say or what roadblocks that may arise. Dreams are what keep us going. Dreams are what make life more than mundane routines. And yes, your dream may never come true. You may never achieve it, but at least you can say you tried. If you want to climb Everest, be the President, be the next Kim K, or just be a parent, then for God’s sake try. Give it your all. You never know what dreams just might come true. And the hope of what can be is what keeps us going, even when life gets hard.

Self-care is being honest. Self-care is not being afraid to quit. If something is not the right fit, then it is ok to stop. Quit your job or school, change your major, leave your relationship, move to a new city. It is ok to quit; it is ok to leave. Give yourself permission to start over anytime you find yourself anything less than happy, satisfied, and fulfilled.

Self-care is learning to love yourself. It is learning to be alone until you find the right person. Self-love is learning to put yourself first. Self-love is finally admitting to yourself that you deserve love and happiness. It is allowing yourself to believe you deserve everything and more.

And lastly, self-care is knowing balance. Walking that line between taking care of yourself and enjoying life and going overboard. Know your limits and weaknesses. Self-care is accepting your flaws and working on them. Knowing your means and making the most of them. Life is a balancing act, and self-care, when done wrong, can dig a deeper hole than it helps.

And in case you need to hear it like I did, you are amazing. You are loved. And you deserve nothing less than the most extraordinary life you can imagine for yourself. And you are free to do, or not do, whatever you think is needed for you to be happy, successful, and fulfilled.

7 Ways Couples Can Practice Self-Care Together

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Self-care is often defined by taking a step away from loved ones to focus entirely on yourself. But carving out moments for well-being doesn’t always necessarily have to be a solo routine. In fact, practicing self-care rituals with your partner has double the reward: Not only are you reaping the individual benefits, but you are also deepening your relationship and connection as a couple. Past research has shown engaging in personal-growth-related activities as a couple actually makes the relationship more satisfying andimproves one’s sex life. (A pretty sweet bonus!)

Here are seven ways to incorporate “couple’s care” together, as recommended by self-care experts:

1. Set aside time each day to talk about your goals together.

Setting and reviewing goals on a regular basis is generally a great way to make sure you’re always working toward your long-term vision for your life, and it can be a great way to feel in control of your present and future. Sharing this habit with your partner, however, can make you all the more efficient and dedicated to those goals because you have someone holding you accountable. Moreover, setting goals together lets your partner know what your vision is and allows your partner the opportunity to be your biggest support system, which in turn creates intimacy.

“You can work on setting your goals together, or set them separately and then share,” says certified life coach Melissa Snow. “This invites conversation about what they are excited about, what their fears are, and how you can help.”

When your partner is involved in your personal development, you’ll feel that much more connected to each other and able to understand each other in much deeper, more nuanced ways.

2. Always have a project you’re working on together.

Whether refinishing a dresser, picking out photos for a new family collage, or practicing a foreign language together, always having a project or hobby in motion allows for a sense of accomplishment as a team. Not to mention, it pulls you away from the habit of plopping down on the couch with Netflix.

“Learning something new is fun, and it also keeps the brain active,” says mindset coach Melissa Wolak. “When you share a project together as a couple, it cultivates teamwork but also an experience where you can learn together, create something new, and you laugh at mistakes.”

3. Read a personal development book together.

Sometimes, to overcome an obstacle or work toward a common goal, outside guidance provides a fresh perspective that a couple can learn together. Reading is a great way to reduce stress and build new skills, and sharing that experience together allows couples to bond over new materials at the same time.

“Reading provides new intellectual stimulation and a conversation topic outside of work and home life,” said Wolak. “On the cognitive side, reading, remembering the details, and discussing the book together are great brain exercises.”

And just imagine how sweet it is to read in bed with your partner.

4. Research your next vacation.

When the going gets tough, you can always daydream about your next getaway–and talking about it with your loved one can make that daydreaming even sweeter.

Whether a staycation, weekend getaway, or monthlong backpacking stint across Europe, life coach Vicky Shilling recommends physically writing down the plans and brainstorms in a notebook to make them more of a reality. “Many of us learn and are stimulated visually and absorb information much better when it’s visually presented,” she says. “Keeping a notebook with your plans will ensure you’re both creating the holiday you want, seeing a combined plan of where you’ll be going and what you’ll be doing so no one is disappointed. Writing down your brainstorms also means you’re not going back to square one every time you discuss it!”

Shilling also adds that keeping your notes will be a great memento, which you can build into a travel journal or scrapbook after your trip.

5. Sit back-to-back and breathe.

Meditation is a tried-and-true way of soothing the mind, finding inner balance, and releasing negative emotions. “When couples take the time and make the commitment to share their meditation practice, they strengthen their relationship and improve their overall well-being,” says executive wellness coach Naz Beheshti. Meditating together also helps an individual become more in touch with their intuition, which can allow them to become more in touch with their partner’s needs without anything being said.

Pick a time, either early morning or just before bed, to sit as a couple and breathe or meditate together. Feeling this stillness as one is powerful. Beheshti recommends a back-to-back position, which allows couples to easily synchronize their breathing because of the physical contact.

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6. Get outside.

While it may be hard to coordinate a trip to the gym together, couples can usually find the time to move their bodies by strolling around the neighborhood. While the endorphins are great, they’re actually the bonus in this situation. Simply being outside has been found to ease stress, as nature has a way of keeping incessant thoughts at bay. Research suggests it can be a particularly connective experience for couples, with the potential to boost trust and even arousal.

“Regardless of whether you have a dog to exercise, getting outside together is an ideal opportunity to combine exercise and fresh air,” said Karen Tindall, a certified life coach in Arkansas. “It creates a time when you can have undistracted conversations away from technology and prying ears of family.”

7. Express gratitude.

Research suggests even thinking about gratitude can have a positive impact, but writing it down can even help you sleep better and aids in reducing depression. When you’re more aware of the things you’re thankful for, you tend to be more mindful of them as they happen throughout the day (“This makes me happy; I’m going to write it in my journal tonight”), thus making your daily gratitude more apparent in your life.

While many people keep gratitude journals, it’s more commonly an individual practice. But why not share this beautiful habit with your partner? Adding this to your regular routine allows for the chance to communicate with your partner in a sometimes vulnerable way.

Marriage and family therapist Erica Basso recommends writing down three things you love about your partner and three things you’re grateful for that you’ve noticed them do recently; then share them with your partner to turn that gratitude into a shared experience. You can do this weekly or even daily.

Everyone needs a little self-care in their week, and bringing your partner into these practices can be a great way to not only share these benefits with another person but to create the added bonus of creating intimacy—which is itself something that will improve your well-being. So the next time you’re carving out a date night, consider incorporating activities that do both: allow for a sense of closeness and personal wellness.

5 Top Self Care Tips For Travelers

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6 Ways to Show Yourself the Love You Deserve

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When people think about being kind to themselves and practicing self-love, it’s often considered in a noncommittal, “Yes, I really should be doing that more,”sort of way. Then they go about their merry way, continuing the same old behaviors and being anything but kind to themselves.

Fortunately, a number of people do decide they are finally ready to start loving themselves. But what made them ready, and why have they waited so long to start?

What about you — are you ready to start treating yourself with kindness and learn how to love yourself fully, the way you deserve?

Where do you find yourself on the “self-love/being kind to yourself” scale currently? Are you at the bottom, clueless as to what loving yourself even means, or slowly crawling up the scale, wondering why it took you so long to treat yourself with love and kindness?

10 Things You’re Doing Because You’re Finally Starting to Love Yourself

I asked myself that same question many years ago when I finally considered the option to stop being so hard on myself and instead learn how to become my own best friend.

The best answer I have is that I had totally colluded with the pain of the belief that there was definitely something wrong with me and that I was not lovable. That was it. If someone had even suggested self-love, I think it would have gone totally over my head.

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I mean, how could I even consider self-love inside that painful paradigm? I couldn’t.

And I imagine you can’t either, if you still live under that spell of unworthiness and unlovability. It’s painful, isn’t it?

Have you suffered enough that you finally feel ready to try self-love?

Does learning how to love yourself sound like a foreign language to you? Maybe you have an inkling of what it means to others, but for you…?

Oh, how you’ve been swallowed up by this great misunderstanding of who you truly are and what you are worthy of! How you’ve been conditioned to shut yourself off from your inner wisdom, believing others know more than you do!

I often run up against a wall when I talk to people about the importance of learning how to love yourself — unless this person has suffered so much that it’s willing to try a new way. I wish suffering were not the only reason why you would stop this insanity of treating yourself as a second-class citizen.

However, if you happen to be standing against that wall blocking you from self-love now, no matter how you got there, and are weary from denying yourself the goodness of life, let me share a few things I’ve learned since I broke through that wall myself.

Here’s how to love yourself for who you really are and treat yourself with the kindness you deserve.

1. Make a Vow.

The step to learning how to love yourself is to make yourself a promise.

In my self-love journey, I took a clear stand and vowed to never treat myself the way I had been, ever again. I embraced a power that I had lost touch with during all the painful years of self-doubt, self-hate and self-denial.

The pain of this ongoing torture had worn me down to finally realize that I didn’t want to do that to myself anymore

Finally, I’d had enough and wanted something else. It was a strong decision and, without it, you may still have found me in the trenches.

2. Say “No” When You Fall Into Old Patterns.

So now that I made this vow, how was I going to do it? All I had to go by at this point was that I didn’t want to do this to myself anymore, but I didn’t know what to do instead.

My determination gave me the option to say “no” whenever I would glide into the muddy trenches, simply by default. That was the “how” for now: Refuse to continue, the very moment when I found myself slipping back in.

Or, if I was so lucky to catch the first glimmer of the familiar invitation knocking at my door, simply refuse to open.

3. Stick With It.

I really started getting a feel for using the power of saying “no,” to the familiar suggestions to put myself down. It felt good. Yet, to be honest, I probably fell into the trenches more times than I would like to admit. It was a deeply ingrained pattern that didn’t just take the first “no,” for an answer.

However, my determination was strong and my “no” was getting stronger. This started my journey out of the trenches, without any idea of what my next step would be. I didn’t care. I gave myself permission to exercise my “no” — maybe more often than needed. I had to. I just had to use this new powerful weapon against the demons who were used to me saying “yes” all the time.

4. Accept the Journey.

All this didn’t happen overnight. Without knowing where all this was going, I learned what steps to take and when. I started seeing steps, obstacles, dead ends, tricksters, successes, and failures. I saw doors open and close, and also saw doors open and open even wider.

I paid attention and finally (after many years) could authentically show others how to love themselves. My own pain and suffering slowly turned into my life’s calling, something I would never have imagined when I took my first stand many years ago.

Here Are 20 Ways to Be Good to Yourself Today

5. Let Go of Resistance.

There are certain behaviors that keep a closed door shut, no matter how hard you push against it. The biggest one is resistance — resisting the parts of yourself that you hate, dislike, and are ashamed of. Resisting yourself keeps you imprisoned forever, and if you want to move past the wall, you’ll need a new strategy.

Have you ever pulled one of those Chinese finger traps, where one finger goes into each end, and the harder you pull, the tighter it gets? The more you try to get away from it, the more you feel stuck? Well, that’s no different from the painful emotions you’re trying to get rid of. The more you resist them, the more stuck you feel.

6. Acknowledge Your Emotions.

When painful emotions come up, I practice “allowing.” Allowing is the opposite of resisting and, coincidentally, seems to be what works to get out of your self-imposed trap. It feels counter-intuitive, but it works. You’ll have to shift your familiar tendency to get away from discomfort and, instead, be open to leaning into it and experiencing it.

Just try it as an experiment first. Test out this theory. Find out what happens when you are willing to move toward a painful feeling that you normally try to get rid of. Allow space for it. Breathe into it and find out what happens. This is your experiment and is for you to find out if the grip loosens or not.

When you let go of resistance and make space for whatever you have resisted, you release a lot of energy. This energy was stuck in the trap when you moved away from it. Now, when you move toward it with curiosity, you’ll notice that the feeling you wanted to get rid of, gets exposed. It’s vulnerable and needs your care.

Would you be able and willing to meet it with the same kindness as you would a scared little child or animal? Try it and see how this feeling responds. It may be confused first because it’s not used to your kindness yet. Imagine you offer it a loving hand or caring touch to let it know you are here to help.

When that part feels safe enough, it will slowly let you know about how it’s feeling and what it’s upset about. This is the released energy from the trap of resistance. It’s been waiting for you to listen and take it seriously, and here’s your chance.

Use this opportunity to take another gentle breath down into the area where this feeling has been stuck.

Just take some kind, gentle breaths, as though you want to say hello to it. Do it with a caring attitude to make sure this newly liberated feeling stays open. Just notice what changes when you gently approach it that way with a curious, caring attitude.

The connection has been made. You are now in a new relationship with your previously resisted feeling. Can you feel the difference?

If you need more time, keep breathing kindly into the area in your body and do your best to be caring and curious. The aim here is to find out more about this pain that was stuck in the trap. That part has a story to tell and needs you to listen.

Maybe nobody has ever listened to that part of you, least of all you. Here’s your chance to deeply listen and learn about yourself in a whole new way.

This guest article originally appeared on YourTango.com: The Subtle-Yet-Obvious Reason You Don’t Love Yourself — Yet.

Why Would You Want To?

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In my ongoing quest to come to the end of the internet, this week I discovered a word I should have seen coming—self-compassion. Self-compassion is a stop somewhere out there on the journey to self-love, which, from my vast research, seems to be a terminal destination. Self-compassion nor self-love should be confused with self-indulgence, which of course is bad, and is probably the conjoined twin of self-care. And also, I took the quiz, though I lied. I put ‘sometimes’ down for every question because I don’t really care, I just wanted to see what they were asking. By the twelfth one I was clinically bored.

It seems to me, though I never thought it was possible, that modern western culture is determined to put a lie to that tragic questioning cry, found in the lections for today, if you were thinking of trudging off to church somewhere. It’s that famous line buried in a recapitulation of Psalm One (also for today) and much maligned by ex-evangelicals who love Brene Brown. Here it is.

“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?”

After two more articles on the website Well and Good, where you can find the link to take that quiz if you want, I feel like the answer to that question is, ‘Why would you want to?’ Because after a very short interval its not that interesting anymore. The more the world careens towards self-acceptance, self-love, self-compassion, self-care, all wrapped up with that dreaded bow of self-indulgence, the more the internet stops being curious and fun, the more twitter lives into its full malign nature. Are human people even that interesting when they are in the ghastly throws of self-compassion?

“Cursed,” explained Jeremiah, speaking on behalf of God, “is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength.” He is like a shrub in a desert, parched. But I am reminded of all that grass we human people are likened to somewhere else by some other prophet*. It grows up suddenly and waves in the bright sun and bends in the wind and you think ‘oh, that’s so fresh and bright and summer is so great,’ but then you come back a month later and there’s a heavy layer of snow and the grass is nowhere to be seen. It died. It was brittle. Fire or snow, or time really, and its as if it never even existed. That is the human person, scrolling wildly through a social-media news feed, driven along by that unsparing, internal rule of self-love. Cursed.

If that doesn’t appeal to you, and it shouldn’t, a few verses later you come across the antidote. “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,” and then, in case you didn’t quite get it, Jeremiah repeats himself, “whose trust is in the Lord.” He is like a tree planted by streams of water, whose roots go down into the cool silent depths, who stays green all the time and even bears fruit.

How can a human person, of whatever kind of gender, in whatever state of self-love, who is here one moment, like the grass, and gone the next, ever be like a tree? I met a glorious tree last month. Some ancient, vast oak tree down in the south that looked like it had wandered out of Lord of the Rings, and also like it would say something in words if you stood there long enough, quietly.

Trees and grass are all of the same stuff, the same idea. They both live. They can both look pretty. But one of them isn’t going anywhere, and, according to Jeremiah, that one of is basically completely happy, blessed even, sucking up water through its roots while the other one burns itself out in a conflagration of self-love.

Jeremiah answers his own question, “Who can understand it,” with the only answer you’d expect of him. He quotes God, “I the LORD search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.”

What is curious to me is that God would even want to know. That he bothers with the search. That he hasn’t already had enough of ladders.com and Well and Good and just chucked it. Sin—of which self-love, if not the chief, is surely reclining at the head of the table—is not that interesting. There is never anything new and wonderful about it. When you see it there in the light it doesn’t look shocking nor inviting. It is strange of God that he would take the trouble even to search the depths of a boring and bedraggled humanity, setting themselves alight with vanity and calling it special.

“Heal me,” concludes Jeremiah, setting himself down by the stream and probably throwing his phone into its sparkling depths, “and I shall be healed. Save me and I shall be saved. For you are my praise.”

God, who is the living water, and is himself the most interesting being out there, if only we would stop gazing at ourselves in the mirrors of our lives and wander away to read a book, but especially the book I’ve been quoting here, has the power and the inclination to heal and to save. His compassion far surpasses any that you or I could ever manufacture, even with the help of a leading psychologist. He has mercy on those who suddenly see themselves going up in smoke, who see the stream and the cool quiet and wish they could stop careening along in the way of the wicked.

And what of the tree? Because it is not just any tree. It stands there against the sky so that when you hurry by, if you were to pause, just for a moment, you would actually see a redemption, a healing, a compassion, a salvation, indeed, a solution to all the cares of the world, fixed there. You could pause and sit, and drink, and eat, and forget yourself in a haze of wonder. You can’t understand yourself or him, but he understands both.

Be a tree, go to church.

*Isaiah 40:7

Are You Sabotaging Your Self-Love?

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This month, we’ve been talking about self-love a lot over in my Instagrampage. We’ve been having meaningful conversations about what it is, why it’s so hard to achieve, and the main challenges about it.

Mariana Plata
Source: Mariana Plata

Self-love is the foundation for all the other relationships in your life. In simple words, one cannot pour from an empty cup. One can’t give if one doesn’t have:

  • You can’t have a healthy relationship with other people if YOU don’t have a healthy relationship with yourself.
  • You can’t be compassionate with others if YOU don’t practice self-compassion in your own life.
  • You can’t take care of others if YOU don’t take care of yourself, first.

Self-love, though it has a pretty ring to it, can often be one of the most difficult practices to accomplish. Why? Because we live in a society that promotes and celebrates your exhaustion and how tired you are. It benefits from your insecurities.

This is why loving yourself is a revolutionary act. Society has “normalized” the ways in which we sabotage prioritizing and taking care of ourselves.

The first step is realizing when these self-sabotages show up. Here are three red flags that you might be self-sabotaging your self-love practices.

You keep comparing yourself 

Social media is full of comparison traps. And, once we fall down this rabbit hole and don’t actively make an effort to get out, our self-love gets compromised.

I won’t tell you not to compare yourself, because we are only human. It’s only natural to fall in these traps. What I will ask you is that when you compare yourself, make sure you challenge that comparison. How? With gratitudeWhat is wonderful about YOU? What makes YOU magical, unique and special? And actively fight against that comparison trap with a gratitude perspective about yourself.

Black or white thinking 

“Good vs. bad.” “Skinny vs. fat”.””Pretty vs. ugly.” These are all black or white thoughts which are counterproductive to our mental health. Especially, to our self-love. Things aren’t good or bad, they are. Your body isn’t pretty or ugly, it is. It works. It helps you achieve your daily goals and tells you what needs adjusting.

These black or white thoughts only welcome shame, which is a powerful emotion that fosters a negative self-image, low self-esteem and promotes self-loathing. Shame is self-love’s arch-nemesis, and it’s only cured by practicing self-compassion, a key component of self-love.

You don’t prioritize your self-care strategies

Similar to self-compassion, self-care is a crucial part of self-love. The way we take care of our body (exercise, eating healthily, sleeping enough, drinking plenty of water); our mind (seeking help from our support system, talking about difficult emotions); and our soul (meditatingjournaling).

If you’re not carving out a space in your day to include at least one of the areas mentioned above, you’re not prioritizing yourself. And, if you don’t prioritize yourself, who will?

How To Become Calm, Confident And Happy In Just 10 Minutes A Day

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Anything can quickly lead us to a crisis point – the car breaking down, being late for work, your credit card bill. A busy life juggling work and home can lead to butterflies in your stomach and a feeling that you can no longer cope.
 
This means that your fight or flight response has been engaged – an unconscious and involuntary reaction to perceived threat or danger.
 
In our daily life, our stress response can be triggered so frequently that we spend a lot of time unable to think clearly and remain calm.
 
Here are some tips on staying happy, confident and calm – all backed with the latest neuroscience research:
 
1. Practice compassion
 
It’s worth focusing on compassion as it is really good for your well-being. It feels great to show compassion to others – but it’s even more important to show compassion to yourself.
 
When you show compassion, your body releases chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin, which increases feelings of calmness, safety and trust. They reduce the feelings of anxiety we place on ourselves. So stop beating yourself up – compassion is good for both you, and those around you.
 
2. Be adaptive
 
As humans, we tend not to like change. We find comfort in order, stability and sameness.
 
Learning to be adaptive can be scary, as we are taken out of our comfort zone, so you can start by taking a few measured risks – like walking a different route home, learning a new language, trying a new exercises class. You will soon start to see change as a positive with less threat.
 
With less threat comes less stress, so you will begin to feel calmer consistently. Practicing adaptive behaviour has also been linked to a lesser risk of dementia later in life.
 
3. Buzz or Burden? The Stress Response
 
We all need some stress in our lives – think of the buzz you experience with positive pressure (healthy stress), or the feeling you get just before a big presentation. However, it’s important to recognise when feelings of stress are unhealthy.
 
Use mindfulness to bring yourself back to a healthy buzz, when you feel like you are beginning to tip into feelings of burden.
 
Stress occurs when perceived pressure exceeds your perceived ability to cope – Professor Stephen Palmer.
 
4. I’m a Perfectionist! That’s good, right?
 
Perfection is worn as a badge of honour by society – but beware! It can never be reached. Our advice to you is to replace your pursuit of perfection with a quest for the achievement of excellence.
 
Lives can be ruined through delaying tasks out of fear they won’t be perfect. Try instead to opt for excellence. Be as good as you can be – be your best self. That way, you’ll get more done in much less time. And you’ll feel calmer in the process. There! Perfect. Sorry!
 
5. Try Mindfulness
 
Mindfulness is an ancient Buddhist meditation practice. It’s now been proven by neuroscientists to be highly effective for calming the mind – in other words, it works! It allows us to be present in the moment and experience life clearly and fully. It trains the mind to keep intrusive, unhelpful thoughts at bay so that we can rationally problem solve. Mindfulness allows us to fully appreciate the present. It’s great to spend time there – it’s all we have!

100 Ways to Practice Self-Care That Will Brighten Your Day

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By Hedi Phillips

Image Source: Unsplash / Jude Beck

So you’ve decided to start taking better care of yourself — we’re so excited for you! Self-care is extremely important no matter what else you’ve got going on in your life. And before you think self-care is only necessary for people with anxiety or for those who experience emotional struggles that you don’t identify with, back that thought up right now. Everyone needs self-care, and self-care is different for everyone.

We’ve come up with 100 different things you can do for yourself, whether it’s going out to do something, staying in to do nothing, or shifting your focus to your loved ones. Pick and choose what works for you, and expand on it to place all the focus on you. You deserve it.

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